The Breaking Wall
by silly-hime
Summary: 3. Dedicated to the boy who fell too hard for the girl who broke his heart.     "I saw his wall of sanity start to crack...but I ignored it."


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gakuen Alice sadly… :(

**Warning:** Super OOC, no editing given and SUPER long Author's note at the end. :)

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**The Breaking Wall**

_Dedicated to the boy who fell too hard for the girl who broke his heart_

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"Why are you doing this Natsume? This isn't you. Just stop before you regret it." He looked up at his blond friend and put on a fake grin.

"Why? Do you really need me to answer that question? I don't care. Nothing bad will happen. Have a bit of fun Ruka, stop being the wussy Imai keeps calling you."

Ruka clenched his fist as his light blue eyes trailed over the figure seated on the ground. He watched as his friend grabbed yet another beer bottle, and gulped it down as if it was the only thing keeping him alive.

_Well, it probably is…_

"Come on man. Seriously. Stop. You're 16 for damn's sake. You're breaking the law for even possessing these drugs, let alone consuming them in school. Just stop, please." Ruka begged. He reached over to grab the rest of the pack, but his hands were slapped away. Ruka looked up and his eyes met crimson. Ruka winced, pulling away quickly, taking a hesitant step back.

His eyes…it scared the hell out of him. They were…

Cold.

Lifeless.

Defeated.

Ruka shivered at the thought and looked back at his best friend, who was busy mixing a white powder of some sort.

"Natsume…" Ruka whispered.

The raven-haired lad looked at the worried boy and smirked. "If you don't like what you see…just leave. This is me now. Nothing you say will make me change."

Ruka blinked, feeling a burning heat in his eyes. "…Please Natsume…she…wouldn't want this…" He tried once more.

"Fucking leave me alone already!"

Ruka inhaled sharply, as a beer bottle shattered onto the ground. Tears streamed out of his eyes now, watching as his friend turned his back on him, bits of broken shards scattered around them both.

And Ruka did the worst thing he has ever done since becoming friends with Natsume Hyuuga.

He listened to him and walked away.

Not once looking back at the broken figure.

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"Shut up Natsume! I am _not_ a vampire! Take that back you…you…beast!"

"Seriously Polka…beast? That's the best you can come up with?"

"Yes! Sorry, I'm bad at comebacks."

The boy smirked at his friend, and ruffled her brunette hair. She smiled up at him, her brunette orbs shining with happiness.

"Yes, you really are bad, vampire."

"I'm. Not. A. Vampire!"

"Says the girl who sleeps during the day, hyper during the night, and admits she likes the taste of blood." She pouted at his statement and stuck out her tongue. He smiled at her childish behavior.

"I didn't say I _liked_ the taste of blood. I just said that I always lick my wounds if they're bleeding. How is that wrong?"

"It's wrong vampire, because you're so hungry for blood that you have to drink your own to survive."

"Natsume…You are not making any sense right now! For all I know, _you're_ the vampire! You have their bright red eyes, the pale skin, and the dark hair. You also sleep during the day and are wide-awake at night. We just need some blood to see if your spidey senses awaken."

He rolled his eyes at her. "Polka…really spidey senses? I thought we were talking about Vampires, not Spider man." She waved him off.

"Po-tay-to, po-tah-to, same difference." They turned to each other and laughed.

His heart fluttering faster as they continued talking.

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He breathed in and out, as he waited under the Sakura Tree for her. This was the day. This was going to be the day he finally asked her out. His heart raced as he noticed her walking out from the classroom building. He called out her name, and at this time, he really felt like a vampire as he heart stopped beating.

Mikan Sakura…She was beautiful. The way her hair flowed gently in the wind. The way her smile was always bright and happy. Her delicate features on her face which were so smooth against his fingers whenever he playfully pinched her cheeks. He grinned, as he saw her wave to him, saying bye to her friends.

"Natsume! There you are. I was just about to look for you."

He slightly blushed at this statement, and coughed awkwardly.

"I'm always here you know."

She giggled, and his heart pumped faster. Her laugh too…amazing.

"Yeah, I would have assumed. So what's up?"

His breath hitched up, and he got nervous again. Crap…stop being such a wuss and ask her out already!

"So-so..u-uh…I-I was wondering…"

Her eyebrows rose at the stuttering.

"Wondering-u-um…Could yo-uu, um-m uh-h."

She put her hands over her mouth and giggled at his nervous breakdown.

"Natsume…are you alright?"

"U-um…yeah…so could you –uh…"

She watched him struggle with himself, and blushed slightly. This was it. She knew it was. He was going to ask her out, just as Hotaru said he would.

"So umm-m so-o, yea-hh."

"Natsume, I know what you want to say already, so just say it!"

His eyes widened slightly and he cursed in his head. She knew…who could have tol- His mind clicked…of course. Ruka must have told Imai. He growled slightly, and shook his head. He's Natsume Hyuuga for damn's sake.

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer to him, smirking as he saw a bright blush flush her face. He nuzzled his face into her neck, while wrapping his arms around her waist, and smiled. She blinked, embarrassed by his actions, but smiled too never the less.

Actions do speak louder than words right?

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He was on Cloud 9. Possibly even past Cloud 9. He was in heaven. Natsume Hyuuga was in heaven. Everyone knew. They saw his change in personality, always in class, always in smiles, never arrogant except for in front of his girlfriend. He was happy. And it was all because of her. Because of Mikan.

Picking up his cell to check for any calls, he noticed that it was past 8:00, which means, she should have called by now. He frowned, and double-checked the time. 8:18 it read. No, the clock was right.

_Did something happen to her? Is she all right?_

He picked up his phone and dialed. It rang thrice, then voicemail. He shut off his phone, and sat on his bed.

_Is she okay? What happened? She never ignores a call._

He waited a minute before dialing again. It rang four times, then voicemail. He placed his phone down again, and frowned.

_Now I'm really worried….She wasn't doing anything special today was she?_

He called back again. It rang twice, before voicemail. He dialed again; it rang once, before voicemail. He rang again. It rang once again before going to voicemail.

_Damn it….What if something happened? I can't lose her…_

He called again, but this time leaving a voicemail.

"Hey Mikan…I called you a couple of times. Yeah…so I'm getting a little worried, call me back when you get this okay? Bye."

Pausing for a minute, he called again, leaving another voicemail.

"Hey again Mikan…It's Natsume. You haven't answered any of my calls; I'm getting really worried now. Call me please."

"Hello again Mikan…It's me. Please call me."

"Mikan? Are you there?"

"Mikan? Call me."

He sighed and lay on his bed, brushing through his hair, and looked at the clock. 10:56 it read. 2 hours passed, and she still didn't answer. She couldn't have been sleeping. She's a night girl. He groaned, and shut his eyes, until his phone started ringing. He quickly looked at caller ID, and he smiled.

"Mikan!"

"…Yeah…hi Natsume."

"I've been trying to call you for ages. Why didn't you answer? I was worried about you! Where were you? What happened? Why didn't yo-"

"Natsume! I'm fine. Nothing happened. Sorry. I just…forgot my phone when I was visiting my Grandfather."

He frowned at her tone of voice…it sounded so…dead.

"O-hh, okay. Is everything…"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. But I had a really long day today, so I'm going to sleep. Night."

Before Natsume could say another word, the call ended. His shoulders sagged, as his heart pumped unevenly.

No goodbye? No 'I heart you?' He shut his eyes, and massaged his temple.

Nothing's wrong. I mean…why would something be wrong? They're a week away from their monthiversary. He's happy. She's happy. Nothing can go wrong.

Right?

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"…I want to break up."

He couldn't believe it. Not now. This isn't happening. This can't be happening. Not 3 days before their monthiversary…

"Wh-why?"

She looked to the ground, and twirled her hair nervously.

"I-I just…don't want a boyfriend right now…"

His eyes narrowed angrily at her response. Not. Want. A. Boyfriend. Right. Now? What kind of crap is that?

"Right now? Are you going through something? Is it because of school? Family? You can tell me. We can get through this. Please Mikan. Don't do this."

"I'm sorry Natsume. I've been thinking of this for awhile now…I just don't want a boyfriend right now."

He rolled his eyes, and clenched his fist.

"That doesn't explain anything. Why now? We can work through this just please Mikan. Please…"

She looked over his shoulder, ignoring his pleading eyes, and shook her head. "I'm sorry Natsume…I just…never planned to have a boyfriend this year and…"

"Never planned? We never plan a lot of things in life Mikan. Why is this any different?"

"I'm sorry…I just can't. It's not you. It's me. Really…"

He turned his back to her and he breathed unevenly. He wanted to punch something. Feel some sort of pain, rather than the pain he felt in his heart…

"I-I'm sorry, Natsume…I'm sorry…" He glanced in her direction and his heart stopped at the hurt emotion on her face. She was crying and he rubbed his temple.

_It hurts for us to break up…but it hurts even more to see her crying…_

"It's okay, Mikan…"

She looked up at him quickly and brushed her tears slowly.

"What…Really?"

Reluctantly, he nodded his head, and faked a smile.

"Yeah…I mean…You gotta do what you gotta do right?"

She nodded her head sadly.

"Tch, baka. Stop crying then, you look ugly."

She smiled at his arrogant personality showing, and nodded her head, wiping the tears away.

"We can…stay friends then right?" She whispered.

He frowned. He never did like staying friends with his ex's. But…for her…

"Of course Mikan."

He would.

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He missed her.

He didn't admit it out loud…but he did. Being friends…it just wasn't working for him. His heart continued to beat fast whenever he saw her walk down the hall, or when they're in the same class.

He still wanted her. The hour long talks each night, the teasing, the hugging, the kissing. He wanted it again.

He wanted _her_ again.

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"What did you get for number…4 Koko?"

"Uh…241.35 ft/s. "

"Okay, thanks."

He watched her as she worked with her friend, as they studied for finals. A month has passed, and today was going to be the day…He was going to get her back no matter what.

"What did you get for number 7 then?"

"67 mph I think…"

"If you need math help, I can help you guys." He spoke.

They turned their heads to him, and Koko grinned. "Sure, you can help me, Natsume."

Natsume walked across, and brought a chair, sitting closely behind the two.

"What are your guy's finals today?"

"Uh…P.E with Serio-san, and Maths with Jin-jin."

"Ah…that must suck. I have Bio with Misaki. I haven't studied at all. Not like I need to. I'm bored of studying."

She closed her eyes and tried to bury her head into her math book, as the two boys continued to discuss random events. She frowned at the loss of concentration.

_Can't they just shut up? I need to study for finals!_

She shut her math book loudly, and pulled up her computer.

"Oh…you're done with math already Mikan?"

"Huh? Oh… no Koko. I just can't seem to concentrate right now. I'll just study for Narumi's English final."

"Really? You're actually studying for it?"

She frowned at his annoying tone, and nodded her head.

"Yeah I am Natsume. You should be studying as well."

He frowned at her rather sharp tone, and ignored it. He's going to get her back today…No doubt about that.

"So Koko…"

Her hands twitched, as she reread the same sentence for the past minute. She couldn't concentrate. She felt like someone was staring at her. And she had a feeling who it was. He just wouldn't leave her alone. Just when she was feeling truly happy for once…he just had to destroy it by always coming near her…She was cracking.

"Could you please, like, not look at my computer screen? I can't work."

"Sorry…I wasn't looking at that."

"Well…I can't concentrate, so could you please…"

He clenched his fist, and nodded his head. He had to do it now…before it was too late.

Thankfully the bell rang just then, signaling the ending of the first period. Koko waved goodbye, while she groaned, staring at the material she couldn't finish because of _someone._

"…Mikan."

"What"

His eyes narrowed at her indifferent tone.

"I Just…don't understand you."

She closed her eyes, and turned to her computer screen.

"Well, no one really does."

He frowned. "I…" This was it. Now or never. "Miss you, Mikan."

She stopped what she was doing, and turned to him. Emotions were gone, other than her plain irritation. "I broke up with you Natsume. Just deal with it." Harsh, she knew, but right now, she didn't care.

"Yeah, I know. But _why?"_

"I already told you why when we broke up. Because I didn't want a boyfriend."

"Oh…_really_? Then why are you going to the dance with Yuu? Is _he_ your new boyfriend?"

She clicked her tongue, and glared at him.

"He's just a friend Natsume. Why are you bringing him into this? You _aren't_ my boyfriend anymore. It's none of your business anymore."

"It _is_ my business! The fuck it's not. You didn't give me a fucking good reason why you broke up with me in the first place!"

She blinked the tears that were appearing in her eyes, his sharp shouts frightening her.

"No! It's not anymore Natsume. Just face the fact that we are through! I never lied to you when I said I never wanted a boyfriend. So don't bring another guy into this. You're getting jealous over _nothing!_"

He wanted to murder someone. They were supposed to get back together. What the hell happened to that plan? He pushed his way past her and pushed a chair over, toppling it onto the ground. Once he was outside, he ran.

He didn't care if people were watching him. He didn't even know where he was going. There were only so many places to go in Gakuen Alice. But all he knew was that he just needed to get far away from her as possible before he broke down in tears.

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She didn't know what was happening to him after. They never spoke. Never fully looked at each other.

She noticed however, a change in him. He seemed moody. Tired. He turned colder than usual. More stoic and alone. She never saw him smile or laugh. He was always to himself, except for the few instances she saw when he was talking to his best friend. She should have done something. Asked him what's wrong.

But she didn't. She ignored him.

She was happy again. He wasn't annoying her or calling her or accusing her of anything.

_He's a man. He's fine. He'll get over it._ Everyone told her that.

So…she believed.

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_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hyuuga,_

_I am very displeased to say this but due to solid evidence, your son, Mr. Natsume Hyuuga, will be expelled from Gakuen Alice: School for the Elite, on the possession and consumption of alcohol and drugs on school campus. _

_However, seeing as this is your son's first disciplinary action, the school board and I have decided to allow your son to come back for the Spring Semester in January of 2013 if he decides to do so._

_I'm very sorry for such a short and rather sad notice. Mr. Natsume Hyuuga has been a great edition these past years and the school board and I send our deepest regards._

_If you have any questions or concerns, do not hesitate to call._

_Sincerely, _

_Narumi Anjo, President of Gakuen Alice _

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L1ttle Miss Dreamer: 1/18/12

**A/N**: You guys have no idea how bad I feel right now… Just writing this…thinking about what happened…I couldn't help but think did he do all that because of what _I _did to him that month ago?

…I remember wishing…something would happen so that I won't have to see his face again…and suddenly this happened… I can't help but remember that quote…_ Be careful what you wish for, because it just might happen…_

I didn't know his entire situation really. Maybe it was family problems, stress, and workload. I didn't know…

What I did know however was that, I was part of his problems. I _know_ I was part of the reason why he broke down and did what he did. I saw his wall of sanity start to crack, but I ignored it…

…And…all I can say now is…as I slowly watched his wall break…

_**I'm sorry**_. I'm so sorry. And I hope one day…you can forgive me.

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I'm sorry for that rant, but…I hope you enjoyed the story. Review Please? :)


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